I love...

I love lazy days, which only materialize,

when I create them, and set them free. 

I love how the rules change 

each time I engage in "my day off..."

Maybe I drink coffee and blog all day,

and maybe I do load after load of laundry.

Maybe I get dressed; maybe I don't.

I love sugar candy, in an obsessive kind of way,

consuming the entire bag,

box, or other container. Who doesn't have a 

hidden pleasure, one they don't easily confess? 

I love Springtime, and new life, and babies.

Baby kittens, baby chicks, new to this earth goat kids. 

Wobbly feet, fluffy feathers, fuzzy furr.... babies. 

I love a greasy burger,

with all the trimmings. 

Cheese dripping off the sides,

grilled onion and jalapenos,

piled high in the gooey delight of 

American cheese. Not cheese product.

Some days I inlude the trimmings less essential:

lettuce and tomato and pickles. 

Who am I kidding? Pickles are essential.

Even on a jalapeno burger. 

I love my children,

born of my womb,

or not so much so. 

Some of them raised me,

all of them teach me, 

how to be a human, full of grace

and forgiveness,

not so black and white as I once was.

I love the grey areas,

because few things are ever black and white

and I take issue with those who say they are.

I want to lay down an example here, but my mind 

is suddenly on vacation.

I love lazy days,

when people don't judge me,

don't see me, don't know me. 

I love lazy days,

they make the productive days so much more 

significant. 

-Carrie Horn

Dear Hippie Chick Farm,

 Dear Farm that I love,

Your an oasis in the desert 

of my life. 

Your greenery and growth

are a blessing and a curse. 

Requiring time invested 

going round and round 

on the magical machinery 

that shortens the growth

of grass and weeds and the dreaded

pig weed. 

Every day I chase the chickens

and count the eggs 

and watch those little raptors

race for the cat food.

Elvis the Rooster 

calling his girls

when he find something tasty. 

Goats that bombard me

planning their escape

while I slip in and out of the pen.

Cats, cats.... everywhere cats.

Much as I love them

they are a lot.

A lot of crying, purring and such.

A lot of grey stripes and tails and 

toes. 

Everywhere a cat. 

These are the things I love most.

Thank you dear farm

for bringing me solace, 

tranquility,

disguised in the form of chaos,

and satisfaction

that comes from chasing the critters

big and small

dawn to dusk and beyond.

Your simplicity

and complexity

both intrigue and inspire me.

Thank you for the life your give me.

-Carrie Horn

I love our rainbow, though we are trying to add to our diversity of color.

In Poetry We Say... "

 Today's format challenge is "In Poetry We Say" as a response to some cliche` saying in English. A few examples she threw out there for us to try were: "Such is Life," "It Is What It Is," "That's the Way the Cookie Crumbles," or "Let Bygones Be Bygones..."

I'm gonna try "Through Thick and Thin..."

I Will Be Here For You

In English we say,

Through thick and thin,

but in Poetry we say,

trudging through the 

muck and mire

I am here.

Where the veil is thin

and death is well-versed,

I will be here.

When life is bulging at the seams

and friendship is 

neglected

I am still here. 

-Carrie Horn

Kitten Cuddles (so she's not a kitten anymore....)

 Unconditional Love

Calm kitty cuddles overcoming calamity

giving my heart a much needed boost. 

Comfort and caring

for a beloved pet

to whom I am "mom."

Remembering the early days,

bottle feedings, snuggles and naps.

She holds my heart

in ways I didn't know

a furry friend could.

I've always loved the critters

but very few cross that abyss

and live in my heart in a way 

most of my pets do not. 

Purrs and perfection,

soft kitty fur

pressed against my skin,

as we snuggle and cuddle

and shut out the world.

Our time together is precious

putting perfect purrs in perspective.

-Carrie Horn

Forgiveness in a word, is never accomplished with a word.

 Forgiveness.

One little word.

Looms large.

Never small,

knowing that forgiveness 

is not a word at all! 

An act,

action,

gesture, 

event. 

Forgiveness requires

my heart to be humble,

and my contrition

to be complete. 

It is seldom a feeling,

but an ongoing

purge. 

Of hatred of old,

and resentments brand new,

that smolder and grow

and make life 

a messy goo.

I purge and I render 

my feelings 

all better,

different, brand new. 

But soon those old voices,

aches, and heartbrokenness

will build again.

I'll talk to God and tell him my plight

and how I forgive 

and that I've set things a'right.

But I know that the work

is never done. 

Forgiveness is a verb,

an action,

a battle won.

-Carrie Horn

I think the word I'm looking for is "Heavy"

 Heavy

like a box that has weights in it, 

or bags of chicken scratch and feed,

I carry this feeling with me.

It's been here all week.

I will call it grief.

Grief for a new friend,

I feel guilty that it hurts, 

because I didn't know her well.

Grief,

and relief,

for a family that I only know

in a small town way.

Guilt that I'm grateful

that it's not me

facing their walk,

their pain

their shame. 

Stigma...

I wish it weren't a word.

But especially in small town,

rural Kansas, 

it's definitely a word.

There is no shame,

but I feel it just the same,

when I face the crisis 

of supporting a child

that society doesn't understand.

or embrace. 

Heavy.

My heart is heavy

like a cold steel beam

facing the loss.

As if it weren't enough...

I remember

a man on a cross

dying slowly,

painfully,

because I am a selfish sinner.

Heavy.

The weight of the gift

is heavy.

My heart, 

dragging these feelings

is heavy.

I will lay it down today

so tomorrow I can remember

the joy

of my salvation.

Knowing that

these things, feelings, baggage,

are still 

heavy.

-Carrie Horn

WWJD?

 I know this isn't a religious forum. But lately everything in my life seems to be spiritual or political and usually with one affecting the other. I was raised to be a conservative, right-wing political and religious person. And I honestly believed that people who were different from me were going to hell. They are not "real" Christians. But as I have gained more information about myself, about the world, about politics, social class, and the beliefs that I hold dear, I am finding that I don't agree with my family and my younger self. I have some to the conclusion that "real" Christians follow the teachings of the new testament in the Bible. And Jesus and Paul both have a LOT to say about love and taking care of the poor and the downtrodden. Not so much to say about how "my" money shouldn't go to pay taxes or to take care of "those" people. Nothing that says that people will be led to Christ by my rants and rages and putting people down and making people feel scared or unsafe. Jesus example would lead me to believe that I should be non-aggressive even in the face of people who are trying to kill me. So the commonly held belief that people should: Hate the sin; Love the sinner by the way of excluding people from church, family, fellowship or by berating them or (someone I love, loves this option) writing them letters telling them to repent or they are going to hell seems to bass-ackward to me. 

Today is Transgender Day of Visibility. My decision to be an advocate and safe place for people who are different from me is especially important today. I am not telling you why, but that's okay. It is still important. One thing I'm learning is that I don't always have the right to tell someone else's story. And I don't have to explain myself in order for my reasons to be valid. They are just valid. 

So happy day of visibility. If I wonder what Jesus would do today in America, I'm confident he'd be giving free hugs to transgenders and other members of the queer community. He'd be going out to dinner with them, or playing a game with them, or hanging out with them, or just letting them know He was there for them. Not attaching that oh-so-important piece where we grade their life and judge and let them know they aren't welcome here because while we love them, we hate the sin. 

I believe that Jesus loves me. And that I want to give others the opportunity to know what that feels like. Because I'm far from a saint. Forgiveness and acceptance are components I deeply value. Jesus would be my friend, and he'd hang out with the people I hang out with. That's what I think Jesus would do.