Staring at the page... wondering where it all went. The ideas. I had a million and one ideas. Now I have none. I know something I want to write about, but I'm scared. Scared because sometimes when I get off on a tare I get mean. Scared because I have said this stuff before. Scared because God is telling me some things lately and they are not really pleasant. Like how the insanely high standards that I apply to everyone else in my life, need to apply to me as well. Yuck. I just read something on facebook about "tone it down" and it didn't really apply, and yet it spoke to me. I don't want to tone it down if it is something I'm passionate about. And yet I know that I listen to people who are passionate, but not assholes.
So anyways... here goes.
Why does PRIDE matter?
I mean, there's a plethora of fundametalists in my life that are ready to attack. To talk about how disgusting it is and how it is an abonination to God and blah, blah, blah.... Christian Nationalists is a label that fits well here. I also hate that. I hate that so many people that I love dearly fit the Christian Nationalist sect.
But here is why pride matters. I can't say I love these people and then mock them and shame them. With love, comes respect. Enough respect for the human being to treat them like they are intelligent and valued. Do I think everything LGBTQ+ aligns with biblical principals? Eh, maybe not. But I think that there is a LOT of my life, habits, daily routines, actions, don't "pass" on a biblical level. I know I'm covered by grace. See where I'm going? If I am covered by grace, why wouldn't my LGBTQ+ friends and family be covered as well. Well, because, if I'm honest here, in America, we skew the rules to match our white supremist system. Ouch. You know, I know that every day I experience privilege because I'm a white person. With a big vocabulary. And believe it or not, that wordist shit matters. But I digress...
Isn't the goal of Christianity, of striving to live like Jesus asks me to, to reach other human beings and bringing them into the fold? "Love the Lord, your God with all your heart" and "Love your neighbor as yourself..." Even in the middle of a bunch of self-loathing and self-sabotage, I still "love myself" and give myself a pass for a lot of things. Behaviors. "I couldn't help it," "I didn't know better," "I'm doing the best I can with what I have to work with..." and so on. Jesus didn't ask me this. Jesus said, the greatest commandments are (paraphrasing here)... "Love God" and "Love your neighbor." Know why? Because if I do those things, actually do those things, I'll cover all those other things that God wants from me. If I love God, I'll respect him and do what he asks. If I love my neighbor, I'll accept them, even if they look, love, sound different from me.
God loves my LGBTQ+ people. God love everyone. He is not American. And I am not his favorite.
This is the short list as to why I celebrate PRIDE. I don't want my friends and family to think no one loves them and maybe suicide is the answer. I don't want them to think that if Christians don't love them, God doesn't love them. This weird American thing where we think we can hate and bully someone into feeling loved is beyond me. I know it didn't work on me (yes, I'm straight, but always the outcast). I didn't feel loved and I didn't feel motivated to "fit in." I just felt more outcast and more alone. I felt determined to never be like the people who tried to pressure me to be worthy of their love.
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