The days run together. The days. The nights. The weekends. the weekdays. What's what and all that. Is it Sunday or Monday? Why is there no mail today? Oh yeah, it's Sunday. How come no one answers my call? Oh yeah, because most businesses only man the phones M-F, and it's Saturday. and so on and so forth. Today, being Veteran's Day and Friday, will probably really throw me off. No mail today. No banks today. Only today is not the weekend, but just darn close to it, so repeat this scenario for the next 2 days as well.
This is a joy of being home. Being home all. the. time. I don't know if you all will remember but the borrowed car we were driving is now better left undriven. (Surely that's a word...). I can't tell you definitively that the problem is a head gasket, but it sure presented that way. I'm savvy enough to know that driving it is a BIG no-no in such a state. ugh.
These things are related in that when you don't have a car, you just kind of languish. The days on the calendar don't mean much except for when you have a ride to somewhere or something. Today, we have an appointment this afternoon and a ride (hallelujah), and therefore it's important to know that today is Friday. But the next two days being weekend days will not be scheduled and once again, we'll just be out here in paradise without wheels and things will start to blend into each other then.
Apparently my disability case is moving. Some professionals are getting paperwork. That is a good sign. I'm so tired of being in limbo. And I'm tired of being discouraged. So I'm praying for the people assigned to my case and that the right answer will come to pass sooner rather than later since I've already been here for a year.
Blogging feels random and without direction, much like the rest of me lately. Directionlessness is a difficult place to live. I find myself counting down the hours until I can go to bed. Ironically enough, bed is not blissful now either. There's the waking and not being able to fall back to sleep. And there's the waking early with a drive to get up and make cards. The waking and feeling motivated are not bad in and of themselves, it is just when it's coupled with too little restful nighttime sleeping.
But there's much to rejoice about really. Did you know..... someone paid my energy bill again? Yep. Let me tell you, this does more for my tired soul than you can possibly know. I feel loved. I feel important/cared about/for. And I feel safe. Like God is just proving what I say about knowing that He has always taken care of us and that He's NOT going to drop me on my ass now. Amen. So if you're the one, thank you. It means SO much to us. And if you're not the one, thank God with us for angels among us gifting ordinary (needy) people like me with electricity and a deep sense of love and care. It's a big deal and I'm grateful and asking you all to be grateful with me. thanks.
I'm sitting here under a blanket typing in the house that currently already has a bit of a chill to it. I'm worried. Tonight is supposed to be cold. 20º F. And that is bearable. We are in Kansas after all. But it's not desirable since we have no source of heat. I mean, we are well stocked on little plug in heaters.... yeehaw. But I know I don't need to worry. Right? Hence the previous paragraph. And a little thing called a power greater than myself that takes care of me all the time, like the one I call God. Sometimes I call God... Good. Good takes care of me when I can't. And Good (God) will continue this trend. The Bible says that I should cast all my cares onto him and he will take care of me. So that's the plan. Casting now. Worry-free living ahead. The thing with that is that I'm a fast-forgetter. I get to grow myself in discipline and ask for God to take away my Worry and fear again tomorrow and again and again and again. But I'm okay with that as long as I remember to do it. Because God is good (see how I did that there), and will take care of me for as many todays as I ask. All I have to do is humble myself and ask. And how hard can that be. Right?!
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