Emotional mush

I know this will come as a shock but my brain is pure mush lately. Emotional roller coasters are mush-inducing for the brain. The last couple weeks have been crazy. My Dad was sent to the hospital a couple weeks ago. Suspicious scans. He was having trouble seeing, trouble with depth perception, trouble with balance. No bueno. They tested and tested. It's not bacterial. Must be cancer. Maybe it's cancer. Yes. It is definitely some kind of cancer. Wait. We don't really know. Not sure. Let's do more tests. Oh, yes, it is cancer. I am devastated. dev. Uh. stated. distraught. Not put together. Undone. Oh wait. It is definitely not cancer. No idea what it is. So here we sit. His family. On the roller coaster of emotional distress. And dad. Enduring MRIs, spinal tap, and now a brain biopsy. Yes. Today they cut my Dad's skull open so they could look at his brain and snip some of it out to biopsy and test for all sorts of infection. Today I got up thinking that my Dad will probably die before they can figure out what is going on. But now.... We just got updated about thirty minutes ago. And the neurosurgeon said that the abscesses look like infection and that it is most likely treatable. Relief. Elation. Ecstatic. light as a feather. Oh look. optimism. There you are. I missed you. I have been wrapped up in a warm blanket of pity and grief. For over a week already. And it is exhausting. But guess what? What happens when you have a dump of adreneline? You come down. and down. and down. So currently I'm still "flying high" but soon I will be exhausted. Good news is exhausting. Bad news is exhausting. I'm longing for a little bit of boring. Boring is good. I'd take a whole lotta boring about now.