Beggars....

 Beggars can't be choosers. Or much of anything else really. 

I'm at the point of my disability journey that I am just a beggar. Not a chooser. I'm flat broke, I'm less than a month away from losing the only form of income I have right now, child support. So while I'm proud of my kid and so happy for her in regard to this milestone, I'm sickened to think that the only money I get every month, roughly $290, will be ending.

Right now I'm begging for.... pet food, gas money, money for the electric bill, and any other immediate need/necessity that comes up. Things I used to regard as needs... my own vehicle, insurance for home and vehicles, regular flea treatments and deworming for pets, vet visits, weather appropriate shoes and clothes.... I have discovered are actually luxuries. 

I have utilized all the resources I know of that are readily available to me. Which translates to more begging. And whether or not those helping agencies take a condescending tone or not, it is still extremely humiliating. But sadly enough, money of the places put in place to help, are condescending in tone and demeanor. Which makes it more difficult the next month when nothing much has changed. 

It is poor shaming at its finest. or whatever. The poor (me) that have to humbly ask for help month after month, we would really rather crawl under a rock. But I want electricity badly enough to beg for it. So I will seek out more places that I haven't begged from lately, and I will beg for lights and running water and flushing toilets one more time.

I pray that my determination comes soon and payment is swift. But mostly I just pray I can survive. 

If you want to help, send a message and I'll send you the energy company information. Today this blog is both, a rant and plea. Because as I've pointed out, beggar is my current status and begging is my current resource. If you want more information, use this link: Detailed List of ways to assist