Mom's Birthday

 Today is my mother's birthday. I was subbing today, so we (the class I was in and I) called and left Mom a happy birthday message. It was fun. We will celebrate her next Friday evening. And dang.... that's a long ways away still. But schedules be busy. 

Once upon a time ago, when I was a teenager, I ran away from home on my Mom's birthday. I didn't really run away so much as I just didn't go home. But I was young, maybe 15, and doing all the teenage angst/rebellion stuff, messing with the wrong crowd, and the chemicals that go with it. My thinking just wasn't that clear. But that is a lousy pile of excuses. Because guess what? The guilt doesn't go away. I've asked forgiveness and it's been given. I've talked to God and I'm pretty sure He said to move on already. But the guilt is still there. I still hang my head in shame. 

Today I think of my Mom, on her birthday, all alone at home. The 10th of March was the anniversary of my Dad's passing. Just two days before Mom's birthday. Mom's birthday will never be the same. And today, Mom has a boyfriend, but he's not dad. We all know that. Us kids know it. My mom knows it. Warren (the bf) knows it. Dad (in the heavenly realms) knows it. What I was going for when I started this paragraph was that in some ways, it's more lonely now. There's a lonley quality to Mom's birthday because my Dad, for all the ways and days that he fell short, was the love of her life. And in some ways, it doesn't matter how we fill the day and celebrate her and who might be involved. The loneliness is alive and well. 

It's important for us to celebrate mom. Even if it takes until next Friday to make all our schedules collide in a positive way. She's turning 83 and deserves all the love. There's so many times I haven't honored her, and it's time. 

Happy Birthday to my mother. Mom, I love you.