I was gonna title it "A Day in the Life" but the days are never the same, even the ones that are the same. It's because of my touchy-feely gene. Or whatever. How I have to feel everything, out loud, up close and personal, every freaking day of my life.
Last week I started to dive into the wreck that is our finances of current. And it was hard. It was a hard write. Exhausting. And let's face it, I just scratched the surface.... that iceberg runs deep. But it was to try and expel some of the heaviness of the weight of poverty and not knowing day-to-day where the next day's provisions are coming from. I felt like God told me to write it. Even though it was ugly and I called it my "sad blog." But these days, they are definitely a moment. A pause. They take up space in the time line of my life. So today I'm tackling this moment in time.
 | |
| Fresh, newly updated mailbox, 2022 |
 |
| Newly painted... bright and shiny. 2022 |
Two years ago, I painted our mailbox all cute and put it up with lots of hopes and dreams stuffed into it. The Hippie Chick Farm mailbox. And last week, some farmer with equipment attached to their John Deere ran right over our dream-filled mailbox. It kind of seemed fitting in the midst of my down-trodden mindset and the very law of Murphy working overtime. But I got it cobbled back together. It is what I called "rigged." It's stable and will stand for awhile so it's probably not actually "rigged." But it's not what it used to be either.
 |
| A lil tired, but still works. 2024 |
 |
| Worn and faded, but still readable 2024 |
 |
| All beat to heck, but still gettin' the job done 2024 |
So this represents pride and sadness and grit and determined-ness and maybe even a little of the worn out feeling I have all the time. It's just a moment in time though. In some ways, the dented, beat up mailbox makes me happy. It looks like some of the pictures of old mailboxes I find when I'm searching for mailboxes to draw to make cards. It's definitely authentic.
I felt like God told me to write that last blog, that sad blog, that heavy blog. And since then, the abundance of blessings has been unreal. So I guess there's a reason for expressing my short comings and desolation. But in it, it feels yucky. It feels like I'm dragging people down to the muck and the stinky, stinky mire.
Today I have much to thank God for. And He tells me/told me/is still telling me, to write about this too. I expressed the financial inadequacy of my current financial provision... SSD payments. To the tune of about 2/3 of what we need to just barely scrape by every month. Talk about tough. But the Lord in His great wisdom blessed me with a generous overpayment for a service I provided this week. Gas money, some gifts of chicken feed and food and milk for goat babies. Blessings. But the truth is, this just takes the edge off for about 10 minutes. The crushing anxiety of what is still not covered comes rumbling in soon after the high of the getting some relief is felt. God knows this too. And is not without compassion. I was gifted some cash too. I was planning to see if I could maybe borrow some cash. But instead I accepted a gift. Such a treasure. Again, it lessens the constant hum or anxiety and provides some relief. It gave us the ability to figure out a temporary solution to one of our more stinky situations that we currently face. It's not a forever solution and we need more. More help. More skill. More talent. More money to pay for said things. More knowledge of who to even turn to.
Even after all this, God wasn't done with me. Honestly I am in shock. He keeps providing. I am not shocked that God provides really. But this week, I've been in perpetual turmoil. Gripping the roll bars of the ride as it tugs in the uphill battle to reach the top of the rail, and like God's provision, I then top the crest and roll back down at the rate of speed at which such provision sifts through my hands and disappears and then on the uphill trek we go again.
God is giving me a glimpse into the world of work with a chance to work at one of my favorite places in the world with some people I know are godly and seeking the best of all involved. I am going to have a chance to see what the work world feels like on these knees and if there's as much improvement as I think there is, if I'm maybe ready for a new job next year? Hmmmmm. So much to ponder. But this will also..... allow me to give my kids a Christmas. Yeah, they are grown and the expectations are different now, but it's so important that I can buy the groceries to make the things that make it seem like Christmas.... salsa and cookies and fudge and so on. Yes, we will get to experience Christmas if this all works out! And maybe make ends meet too. Hallelujah.
We are so broke we are selling off over half our flock of regular sized chickens and almost all of our ducks. Three. We are keeping three ducks. Three seems more like a flock than just two. But we're currently receiving 0, yes 0, duck eggs on the daily. We have 11 ducks of laying age, and not a one single egg each day. Because of the freeloader situation it's not as hard for me to be willing to get rid of ducks. But if you know us Hippie Chicks, we're not really all about downsizing our birds. Our regular sized chickens (not the banties) are a bit of a confusion anyway. We're not sure what color egg is coming from where at the moment and the Punky was pushing to start over with layers next Spring. She wanted to keep these girls until then and sell these off as we add new, young pullets. But I say, "why wait....." Again, if you know me, you know that's unusual. But the financial burden to feed a bunch of freeloading chickens who aren't giving back, is great. So why wait. Let's sell them now and not have to feed them all winter long when I don't even know where our next bag of feed is coming from yet. So we are keeping 5 of our faves and the other 7 and the worthless Roo are going to auction. I can't wait. I'm seriously excited about not having many birds to feed. About starting over again (and again and again it seems) to build a flock we're really excited about.
Lastly, and this breaks me heart to think about, let alone to put it into black and white type. We are selling our precious little bottle babies. If you know a 4H-er that needs a sweet, well socialized goat to train up for a 4H project, we have just the little stinker for you. Seriously though, these darlings know their names, they come when called (well they ARE still goats, they don't always come), they follow us around, they love to be loved on and are sweet and tame as can be. They would be great for 4H, for anyone getting into goats as pets, or for (dare I say it) a petting zoo type situation where kids would touch and love on them and not have to worry about being hurt by them. These kids are going to auction on the 27th unless we can find the perfect home for them before then. If you follow me on facebook you already know I LOVE these babies. I take pictures and videos of them constantly. I am always filled with laughter at their antics and JOY at their zest for life and adventure. So Please dear God, provide a right and loving home for these precious babies because I cannot keep up with their milk consumption and I love them dearly.
Other ways to help are to donate money (gift cards to TSC, Bomgaars, Atwoods, Amazon, Dillons, Walmart, Aldi, prepaid cards Visa or Mastercard or wherever you choose, or cash) mailed to: Hippie Chick Farm; Carrie Horn; 4411 S. Woodberry Road; Burrton, KS 67020; to donate poultry food (all flock is what we use so that we can feed the same thing to the chickens, the silkies, the ducks); to donate goat feed (textured feed, and sweet feed); donate cat food to the outside cats (cheap cat food: Special Kitty 44 lb bag; Kit-n-Kaboodle 30 lb or more bag; Friskies biggest bag of food..... seems to always just be the seafood one); or Alfalfa bales for the goats. Also, there's always the option to purchase from our small businesses: Tie Dye For, tiedye shirts and more; Hippie Chick Creations where I showcase my greeting cards (but this is an umbrella name and I make all kinds of artsy stuff.... if you can dream it, ask me about it, I might be able to make it; and farm fresh chicken eggs (because there are no duck eggs currently). Thank you family, friends, and friends we don't know, for praying, for giving, for reading, and sending good vibes. Your help makes a difference. It provides hope, and a quality of life. Blessings from us girls at the Hippie Chick Farm.
No comments:
Post a Comment