Just like that my hopes are flared and the fire is stoked. I got an email this morning that I have received my standard substitute license. Valid til 2029. And a lead came on a long-term sub position, and I have started the process of reaching out. Now the panic sets in... What about my disability? What about insurance? What if I don't like it? What happens if I work and then don't get a permanent job? What if they don't like me? What if.... What if....
So now that I have had a big adrenaline rush, now I'm coming down hard. And reality is sort of setting in. But hard. You know.... reality with a good hard kick of paranoia and fear attached. A bad case of "what if's" that take those necessary questions to the next level. The crazy level.
Oh Lord, I'm exhausted, and I don't even know if they are going to call me for an interview?!
So I remind myself of "deep thoughts" from those who've been around the sun a few more times than I have. And my favorite quote keeps coming to mind... "God took care of my dumb ass when I was out there drinking, what makes me think He won't take of me now?!" RIP Gene, you were one of kind my friend.
This was my "Slice of Life" today. To read other blogger's who've joined this writing challenge (write everyday for the month of March and publish to Two Writing Teachers "Slice of Life" challenge posts), click on the orange slice. It should direct you to today's post, scroll down to the comments and choose a link, read and enjoy.
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ReplyDeleteI applauded for you as I thought about how hard a substitute teachers job is, yet they are so very needed right now and the gratitude from teachers will be endless. And, then I giggled because of you "what ifs" that cascade and swirl around us when we take big steps into the unknown. AND. . I had just got done reading Shel Silverstein's poem, "What If". It's a must read for you right now. You might want to do a google search to find it. :-)
ReplyDeleteThank goodness for Gene's wisdom! And thank goodness for substitute teachers (I consult in a school who calls them "guest teachers" - I kinda like that language!) who are thinking carefully about match. I hope you get called for the interview and get the chance to figure out if this is the right "match" for you!
ReplyDeleteSending postive thoughts that it all works out!
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