Lately the blog feels like work. just more of the blah, blah, blah.... Which is in and of itself depressing. And there's a low-level of depression accompanying this, daily melancholy. All. Day. Long. Melancholy is tiring.
But there is always something more, something better, some sort of reckoning with gratitude. Righting the sideways that is melancholy and putting my life into an orderly space of gratitude. It happens. Often. Overwhelmingly. And sometimes I'm so deeply entrenched in the melancholy that I don't acknowledge the goodness. The goodness in my life that makes me weepy and emotional almost on a daily basis.
So I have written at least briefly about the vision that Jadyn and I are growing about the Hippie Chick Farm. Why couldn't we develop this into a place that sustains us? With art or birds or whatever. Why couldn't it work? You know, the old "Why" vs "Why not." Why do we think this could be possible? Well, Why not...
I have been stuck on how we "need" some chickens. Because predators and illness completely wiped us out. And we have a Roo and no hens. I seem to think that if I am going to define this little homestead as a farm, we need to have chickens. J keeps reminding me that we are duck people. We sort of love ducks. Only without the sort of. We just love ducks. And the damn raccoons took too many ducks as well as wiping out our chickens. But we're slowly building our flock again. Our local Tractor Supply had two lone ducks that needed to come home with us. They needed us. So we added them to our backroom birds and about a week ago we got to move them outside. I guess it was a week and a half ago, because they moved outside so the new babies could move in. My friend just messaged me and said, "I knew you were trying to re-build your flock so I picked these up at Atwoods...." So we have back room ducks again. or still. It seemed to me to be a sign. Something that said, "God loves you and wants you to be happy, here are some ducks." And also, "don't worry, you are on the right path, the path where you grow your little farm and it loves you back...." Thanks God.
Yesterday afternoon I was snoozing. This new thing of waking up at dawn and being awake and starting my day leads to some mid-day drowsiness. Anyway... I'm interrupted by the phone. Caller ID tells me it is my friend, so I shake myself awake and try to pretend I wasn't just sleeping my day away. She says, "some lady just called me and wanted to know if I knew anyone who rescues ducks, do you want a couple ducks?" Of course. So they are supposed to be Pekins. They seem small to me to be Pekin ducks but maybe they are just too young. I don't know. They are adorable and were not in a good situation so now they will be fed and loved and get to free range every day. Not yet. Right now they are in the pen in the barn and will go back in the dog crate that is in the duck/goose pen when the rest of the free-rangers come home for night. This gets everyone used to each other. Less picking on them that way. But the big ole Goose will probably have to exert some bullish behaviors anyway. But seriously, this helps a lot with those behaviors. Introducing them in a more isolated environment.
But anyway, back to the whole Hippie Chick Farm thing and encouragement vs. discouragement, ebb and flow and all that good jazz. The two new ducks makes my heart happy. Of course. They make me feel as though things are right in the world. Another sign. Because the one who is greater than me, the one I call God, knew I needed a sign.
Ahhhh. Thanks God. Because encouraged wanes quickly. And more is always needed. But today I will remember that we are on a right path, the universe told me so.
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