Born on the 4th of July

Blogging every day in the month of July. I can do this! Whatever I focus on, increases. So today I will focus on the good. Go to Big Time Literacy to read everyone's #btbc17 (Big Time Blogging Challenge '17) posts.

Today I am not striving for Healthy eating or 10,000 steps. Just striving to be happy, joyous and free. Enjoying friends and family and my family of friends.

Adventure numero uno today: Breakfast in the hometown with the folks. I have great memories of many birthday breakfasts with my parents. Today was no different.

Many more adventures are planned today. I plan to keep loving myself. This has not always been the consensus, but today I am worth it.

The Power of my Mind

Today I am having a hard time finding the "right" thing to write about. Kids? Naw. Gardens? Naw. Tie-Dye? What is there to say? Health? *sigh* no. Dogs? Does anyone really want to know about my crazy dog life? LulaRoe? I'm not a dealer (idk what their title is, but their product is highly addictive, so I'll go with dealer), but I do love their stuff. Master of education classes? Naw. I don't even want to know about that. Okay, well, actually, there's some super interesting stuff in these Leadership Coaching Classes. Ha. I think I found something. The power of positive intent.

I am working on learning the language. Because maybe it will help me cross the chasm to Teenage-land so my child can HEAR me when I speak and not just hear "blah, blah, blah.... judgment. Blah, blah, blah, yelling." Because have a teen is exhausting. And I am super tired of being told that I am yelling when I am speaking in even tones and not raising my voice.

There's an entire way to train your brain to think, speak, act differently.... and positive intent is one of the precepts of coaching. Sometimes it still comes out sounding sarcastic. I'm working on it. But my favorite thing I've read so far says that I can create new neuropathways in my brain simply by not using the tried and true ones. That even though they run deep, by consciously choosing new ways of framing thoughts, words, reactions, actions. I can create new pathways. And if you use it, you don't lose it. So the more I use it, the more my brain will automatically go to those pathways. Going through the painful process of thinking through every word every time will eventually lead to automaticity.

Not only does this help my relationships, but it helps me! Because who wants to be a Negative Nelly all the time? If you look up Negative Nelly on Wikepedia, you will see my picture. So that is what comes natural to me after a lifetime of practicing negativity. And thinking that I know what other people are thinking. And its always negative. So... if I banish this, and assume that other people are positive with positive intent, well....

So in spite of the fact that Masters Classes interfere with my lazy summer fantasies, I am learning some really good stuff! Things that will change my life! You know why? Because you attract what you project! That is the reason I am pursuing today. Whatever I project, I attract. And whatever I look for, I find.

Six on Sunday

Day two of the #btbc17. Go to Big Time Literacy to read more!

One goal I have for blogging this summer is to keep it short and sweet. So today I have decided to post six things I am grateful for, and I am calling it 6 on Sunday.

1. I am grateful that sometimes God sees fit to restore broken relationships. I break things. Sometimes those "things" are relationships. And by trying so hard to control them, I sometimes behave in ways that I shouldn't. But today I have hope.

My oldest daughter and I

I am grateful for social media (i.e. facebook). I have connected with old friends and made new and become FRIENDS with people I never would have thought I would connect with. And blogging. I have made some awesome friends through blogs.

Meeting my blogging buddy and knowing that we are now irl friends! Priceless.

I am grateful for aging. Because as my body ages (not so fun), so does my mind and my heart. I like the person I am today so much more than any other time in life before this. I am someone I love today.

I am grateful that I can learn. I am going back to school to get another degree. And it challenges my mind. Which I can only believe strengthens me as a person.

This is how I feel most of the time. Buried under a mountain of books and homework.

I am grateful for July, the month of the birthdays. I love celebrating birthdays.

Truth. All these ladies have July birthdays.

I am grateful for tie-dye. Seriously. It is my happy place. I don't know why and I don't have any need to know why. 😏

When your daughter is your soulmate.....

When your daughter is your best friend.... you have a lot of laughter in your house. You are more like soulmates, than mother/daughter. You finish each others sentences. You randomly break out into song at the same time to the same 80's music.

Christmas time. Right after she moved back home.

My youngest is turning 13 this month. Wow, what a struggle. I try to remember how much I love her and how much anguish I was in from about 11 until about my mid-thirties, when I stopped being a teen. Okay, it was not all the same anguish. Maybe about age 17? When I stopped lashing out quite as heavily at my parents. But we are in the throes of this and it may be a llllooooooonnnnnggggggg few years. I savor the moments that we cross the chasm and connect. And I drink in the compliments from family friends who tell me how sweet she is. How thoughtful. How mature. And I wait for the day that I reap the benefits of parenting her.

I remember vaguely when my soulmate/bff/sunshiny daughter was in this stage of life. It waxed and waned. But really, the struggle lasted on some level until this last year, after she had struck out on her own, getting out from my terrible tyranny. Then life hit her. A 19 year old uneducated girl with no money and no insurance and no skills. Add in some debilitating emotional issues. And she persevered. Pushed through. Learned about adulting without me holding her hand. (What?! How is that possible?)  She began to value herself. To see the validity in her mother's pushing.... push through the depression, get a job, clean your living environment (aka your room). She began to accept that our brains are synced. It is probably not a healthy thing, but it is oh-so-true.

Yes, we really did get matching tattoos.

Today, my daughter is nearing her 21st birthday. I am so grateful that she is in my life. I am so glad that I haven't lost her to the dark side. That she is okay with our crazy life and home. Here's to my hippie-chickie daughter and her bizarre sense of humor and love of 80's rock and all things tie-dye. I would call her my mini-me, but she's about 2 inches taller than I am!

The photographer captured us when we were getting family photos!

BTL blogging challenge 2017 is underway!! To read more blogs, head over to Michelle's Big Time Literacy blog! #btbc17

Everything is Connected....or jumbled together.... or entangled in a mesh of overactive brain activity

Is everything in my life connected?! It would seem so. I recently joined up with friends to be more accountable and intentional about my health. I'm only 10 days in, but I feel better already. I still don't wake up energized and ready to go. Unlike my little companion... she hears that alarm and she is ready to take on the day!

See the wagging tail? Up and at 'em!

Have you noticed that one thing leads to another? The force is strong this morning for sure. The ADHD force. My mind. a little bird. flitting around and getting off on all sorts of bunny trails. I see that I posted the same thing twice. Different words. But did you break out in song when you ready the first sentence of paragraph two? I did. Click here if you did. Or you want to. Or if you are young and don't even have a clue why I would break out in song.

Okay. Connections. Life. Mine. Yours. Etc.
I already stated that I trying to become intentional about my health. I knew I couldn't do it alone. So I banded together with a small tribe of women and we are forging out our new trail. Turns out, according to what I am reading for my Master of Education Classes, that it really is a new trail. In my brain. I am resisting the impulse to eat my diet of high fat, high carb, ultra-convenient, ultra-processed (and reprocessed and over-processed) food. And that by being part of a group of like minded people who I am making myself accountable to, I am making those connections in my brain more concrete. Oh yeah. The lightbulb went off for me! For sure! See how what I am learning in one area connects with the other?

Okay.... for all the ranting, my brain emptied out pretty fast! Oh, I know. I was going to wax poetic about my healthy lifestyle changes. Well, the force to reckoned with (my disjointed brain), says it is time to go and do.... walk, plant, dig, wash, clean, more, more, more. do. do. do. Apparently I wrote enough to calm the connectedness rhetoric that was running rampant in my mind. Everything really is connected. More than we know apparently.

Beyond Grateful

So there's this crazy-magical-terrifying-mystical journey we are on called life. And I have spent my fair share (or more) complaining about the things that don't quite live up to what I expect. But I've been taught that I need to not expect. If I do this, I won't complain as much. This is not to be confused with lowering my standards. At some point, my standards were as low as they could possibly go. But eliminating my expectations means that I am not overwhelmed with guilt when I shoot for the moon and only make it to the stars. I'm free to dream and to reach. Because the fear of failure can be truly paralyzing. And there's no one harder on me than I am. There's also that little thing about putting expectations on those "things" that I have no control over, like other people. When I put people into a certain category and dredge up certain expectations, well, I am certain to be disappointed-- crushed. Because I have no control on someone else's thoughts, dreams, actions. The more I can grasp this, the more gratitude I have. Today I am beyond grateful for the life I live. I am so truly blessed and loved. My life is full of good people, great kids, wonderful kin and a teaching career that is satisfying and fulfilling. My life is full. grateful. sometimes it is too-small of a word. I am overwhelmed with all there is to be grateful for. beyond what I can measure.....

Rant warning! The teacher I never want to be

Here I am today on a rant, rampage, a soapbox. Today I had an experience that I hope I never forget. I experienced (not the first time, but I could really do without this experience again) being on the receiving end of being talked down to by a teacher. My child's teacher. If this teacher was actually trying to recruit me to drive her point home, well, she failed. My first thought was, "if you talked to my child in this tone/manner, no wonder she didn't respond well!" I didn't say that out loud. But I was appalled and outraged that my child was belittled. Called out publicly in class and embarrassed and then the tactic of trying to intimidate and talk down to me to get me to comply. *sigh* Today was certainly educational. I have had some situations recently when I've had to bring behaviors to parents attention via phone. I hope and pray that in my own frustration and nervousness I haven't given parents the impression that I think I am better than them or that I don't care about their student. Holy smokes, I never want that to happen. Today reminded me that there's a parent side to every story too and that this child that is causing disruption today in my class, is someone's precious child who they worry about, long for, and love. A child that they entrust me with every day and give me the charge of encouraging them and cajole them into being the best, most successful version of themselves that they possibly can be.

Parents of my students, if I have taken "a tone" with you, or treated your child like less than the precious gift from heaven that they are, I am very sorry. I wake up daily remembering that I am blessed and very fortunate to teach your children. I love them and I know that you are working very hard to be the best parent, caregiver, provider possible. I know that it is no easy charge. I appreciate you so much. Thank you for sharing your child with me and trusting me to teach them.