Yesterday I was in a slump. Grumpy. Out of sorts. Grouchy. Touchy. Disgruntled. Discontent. Certainly not my favorite kind of mood. To be honest, it was the sort of day where you know nothing is wrong, it just doesn't feel right and praying for bedtime seems to be the best solution. So here I was, praying for the day to end and hating that I was wishing my lift away. But I went to bed early-ish for me, and got up late. These are good things. Today is much better. Yesterday I was tired in a Lord-take-me-away-from-this-earlthly-mess kind of tired. And part of the tired comes from not being able to put the finger on what it is. I know I'm tired of living in the clutter. But as we try to clean and organize, we come up against problems best solved with cash. Which we don't have. Coming up with $35 for a phone bill is important, but let's face it, that is not a lot of cash. And I don't really have extra. So....
It was also the tired of not knowing when it will ever really end, this waiting for disability to make a ruling.... again. And being tired of holding my breath. Living poor just gets old. I think yesterday's tired was the kind that comes from utter exhaustion of the soul.
This soul is tired. Bone tired. Dog tired. Drag-ass tired. Too tired to pray tired.
Thank God the sun came up today and I can reach out again and ask God to renew my spirit. Thank God that each day is a new beginning.
No comments:
Post a Comment