Today's Slice of Life

Today the sun finally came out again. The sun was gone both literally and metaphorically. Overcast, dreary, wet, cold. But after the sky cried tears this morning for the loss of my father, the clouds broke, the sun shone through, and the wind blew the clouds out of the Kansas sky. It was so refreshing. But then the swell of emotion and the roller coaster that is my life started up again. Ping! My girl is not okay. Ping! The dogs need me. Ping! Ping! Ping! Ping! Now the storm of emotion is out of control again. The pounding of stressors on my conscience is loud, constant, over-whelming. I am begging for my turn. My turn to grieve, my turn to cry, my turn to withdraw into myself and just be. Just be sad. Just be tired. Just be. I'm begging, if there's a god in heaven, please grant me some peace and some sort of reprieve. The pain is too much. Too much. Today, the day we stop counting down to Spring, we placed my father in the ground. Laid him to rest. What a horrible thing. It sounds hollow. It sounds shallow. It doesn't give me comfort. I am heartbroken. I am tired. I am wrapped in grief. Today was some kind of passage and opportunity to move on, but it is also just the beginning of a long journey through my grief. I know there is an abundance of new life, new creations, rest of my life adventures waiting out there. But I also know that my life will never be the same.