Today I was conflicted about student needs. My student didn't come to school prepared to learn. For one thing, she didn't wear any socks. Then she asked the office to provide some for her. The thing is, I actually had extra socks here for a center activity (Fox in Socks math). But the student didn't actually ask me, she asked the school secretary. Sometimes for this particular student, the choice to go to someone other than the teacher is an indication that it is not an actual need. Then the thought occurs to me, "What if she just needs to be loved? What if she will feel loved by wearing my socks?" Well, What if? I had a hard time weighing it out today. I left her sock-less. I chose to go with the "she has to learn to be responsible for her own life (and socks)" idea. Third graders are more capable than I sometimes give them credit. Third graders in survival mode might just need to know their teacher doesn't want their feet to be cold so they can learn.
The thing is, as someone who is only sort of on the fringes of poverty, and not deeply immersed in it, I am able to be sympathetic (on some level), but I am still so often unable to really grasp the difference in the way poverty skews these little citizens' view of the world. I know enough to know that we as a nation shame poverty stricken people for something we perpetuate, and that we act as if it is something they choose.
People can work their way out of poverty. Both in a mental sense and in the physical act of finding ways to provide that don't leave us wondering where our next meal, paycheck, fill-in-the-blank is coming from. But poverty is more than just not enough money to take care of what is needed today. It is a way of life and in order to change it, we on the other side of it, need to be understanding, and we need to empower people to change.
This is where I go when I think about my student who did not come to school wearing socks today. Is it as simple as, "You need to make the choice to get up earlier and put on socks next time."? And can I let her know I care just by offering her my socks for a day? Deep thoughts with no easy answers. No wonder I am so tired.
I was going to go back and take that first part out after I got a flow going, but really (seriously?), it may just part of the whole thing. Weighing all the options and responsibilities of being a teacher is exhausting and I wear this badge with pride. Because it is my ticket out of the "I have no security in my finances at all" world I have lived in for so long. Never fear, I am not disillusioned about the riches I will incur teaching. I am aware. But I know that teachers have a more steady/stable income than when I was working for minimum wage, not knowing how we were going to pay our bills. Do we still have to be careful. Absolutely. But it is different now. I am climbing the ladder out of poverty.
Not easy to answer these questions. Questions that come up again and again for those of who work in high poverty schools. We teachers are not rich, yet we care and way to help, or we wouldn't be teachers to begin with. A compassionate response has to balance meeting real needs and promoting responsibility for our students. All as we meet our own needs and those of our families. Just not easy.
ReplyDeleteYou're asking the right questions and are being such a thoughtful, compassionate teacher to this child (and I'm sure to all of your kids). It's hard to know what the right thing to do is. I only ever taught in high-poverty schools. It's hard to provide for all of your kids when the needs are so great all around you. Sometimes it's hard to know when to step in and when to just ponder. As newtreemom said, it's just not easy.
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